


Wasted Days and Sundays

by hawk_soaring



Category: SGA - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 17:17:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/801163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawk_soaring/pseuds/hawk_soaring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it is about Wraith Queens and the military commander of Atlantis?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wasted Days and Sundays

Title: Wasted Days and Sundays  
Author: hawk_soaring  
Fandom: SGA  
Pairing: John Sheppard/ Rodney McKay/ Evan Lorne/ Teyla Emmagen in any pairing and combination my warped mind may conjure.  
Rating: FRAO  
Summary: What it is about Wraith Queens and the military commander of Atlantis?

A/N: A Moonridge fic with the request for a “Happy” John fic. Inclusions: a puddlejumper, C4, a Wraith Queen, a threesome, some Sheppard whumping, and a death. Whew! Hope I got it all in there…

A/N2: Read A/N1 – there is a death of a major character in here!! Don’t read if you can’t handle it.

~*~*~  
  
Ronon was dead; drained and reanimated by that bitch of a fucking Wraith Queen more times than John could remember, each one more agonizing to watch than the last. Ronon’s screams had filled the room, echoing off the ceiling and walls and reverberating in John’s head until he thought he’d go mad from listening. But the quiet was worse. The quiet happened when Ronon was so close to death his voice gave out, his heart struggling to pump just one more time. And then the rush of life as it was forced back into his body, the agony written on his friend’s face – and all because the Queen wanted to punish him.

What was it Spock had said? Ah yes; "Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." It was the damned Captain that had added: “Or the one.” It didn’t make it any easier watching his friend die over and over again though, knowing he could end it all with a word. After all, what did the Queen want anyway but the codes to Atlantis and the gate address of Earth – and those he would never give up, not even if his own death was looming.

His knees were bruised, the pain shooting up through his hips as he was forced to kneel, hands bound at his back, his throat captured in a Wraith’s hand as his head was held up – in order for him to see the spectacle of the Queen draining his friend. The first time he’d closed his eyes they had gouged one of Ronon’s eyes out and it had hung against his cheek obscenely for a long minute before plopping to the ground. The wound was cauterized brutally and John had passed out for a moment – just how long he couldn’t say. All he knew was the icy cold water hitting his face had made him splutter and curse and the hand was at his throat again, the Queen smiling as she licked her fingers and pressed her hand against Ronon’s chest again.

~*~*~

John’s own scream, echoing off the walls, woke him. Strong arms wrapped around him from behind and he struggled briefly before the soft words of assurance seeped into his awareness and he went limp, relief flooding through him. Evan; he would know that voice and those arms anywhere, even in the midst of his worst nightmares.

“She’s gone, John.”

John looked up to see Teyla smiling down at him sadly, Rodney’s sleep-mussed hair sticking up over her shoulder briefly before he peeked around Teyla’s body. John swallowed heavily. How had he ever earned the affections of these three? He wasn’t worthy.

Teyla lay down then, cradling her head on one bent arm as she placed her other hand over John’s heart. “Sleep, John. We are here.”

Rodney’s hand was lying gently on Teyla’s hip and he watched John soberly. After a minute John sighed softly. “What is it, Rodney?” he asked softly. He was tired, so very tired, having not slept fully in days now. His nightmares came in spurts, no longer every night as they had been in the beginning. It had been a month since his last and these only served to make him feel guilty for having been happy these past few weeks.

“I –“ Rodney looked away, his lower lip caught between his teeth and John had to smile at the uncertain picture his posture painted. He was a brilliant man and could be annoying as hell when he got going on his latest theory – but here, where emotions were raw and real, Rodney had a difficult time explaining himself or even asking for what he needed.

“Rodney,” Evan prodded softly.

Rodney lifted his gaze to look at Evan over John’s shoulder before looking into John’s eyes again. “Are you okay, John? Is – is there anything I can do to help?” The scientist blushed furiously and John smiled a little.

“Kiss me – please,” John said equally as soft, closing his eyes as Rodney leaned forward, over Teyla’s body, pressing his lips against John’s softly. When he pulled back, John sighed. “Now go to sleep – and I’ll try not to wake you all again tonight.”

John closed his eyes, humming softly at the feel of Evan’s hand on his stomach, pressing his body back against Evan’s own solidly muscled one, and Teyla’s hand over his heart. Reaching out blindly, he entwined his fingers with Rodney’s where they rested on Teyla’s hip. A gentle squeeze from those fingers and a soft kiss to the nape of his neck sent him tumbling into a blessedly dream-free sleep.

~*~*~

With the dawn of a new day, John was able to shake off the lethargy that always followed his nightmares. It was always the same; good times followed bad… followed good. But at least the intervals between the bad times were getting longer and that was something. His lovers, his best friends, helped as well. They’d kept him sane – after; pulling him out of the Wraith hive ship by means of good old fashioned stealth and human deceit. Jennifer had patched him up the best she could and, when it was obvious he’d been profoundly changed by his experiences, Woolsey had written the orders to send him home – to Earth.

It took them two days to locate him. He’d taken a puddlejumper and gone to the mainland. Teyla, Rodney and Even had followed, getting there long after the engines had cooled – long after John had walked away, leaving his P-90 and his tack vest on the bench inside.

Two days of tracking him, of sometimes guessing at his route only to have to retrace their footsteps, had brought them to a small cave high in the hills – and the huddled figure within. He was thin; battered and bruised from his long trek over unforgiving terrain and, as he soon found out – he was theirs.

He didn’t resist their help, simply telling them he wasn’t going back to Earth, that he’d rather die in the Pegasus galaxy than be taken away from all that was home to him now. He remembered telling them that leaving felt like running away and he couldn’t do that to his friend’s memory. Ronon deserved better from him – even if he currently wasn’t fit to lead.

They’d made a pact then, the three of them promising to take care of him – to love him. All he needed to do was hold on, to learn to live again.

~*~*~

Somehow they’d managed to convince Woolsey to keep John in Atlantis. What the final report to the SGC said, he wouldn’t tell them and, really, it wasn’t important in the grand scheme of things and they were too busy trying to help John put the pieces back together again to worry about it.

John’s nightmares kept everyone awake, his screams echoing down the corridors, and then, finally, they had convinced Woolsey to allow them to find new quarters – away from everyone else. Rodney had pulled up every schematic they could find and they’d scouted out probable locations, making a list and then taking a field trip.

John had known he had found their new home as soon as he’d walked into the room. It was huge by Atlantis standards, easily making up three or four of the quarters the crew was living in currently. And the view almost literally took his breath away, looking out over the ocean and all the way to the mainland far in the distance. They were up high enough in one of the otherwise unused towers that he could see deep into the ocean and felt like he could touch the clouds.

When he’d turned to his companions he could see the hope in their faces and their relief when he nodded to them. This was home.

And so they had moved in, the transporters allowing them to traverse the distance back to the main tower in seconds instead of the hours it had taken them to find this place.

~*~*~

John wasn’t on any away teams or even in charge of military operation on Atlantis any more, but the absence of those things surprisingly didn’t bother him. Surprisingly for him, that is, as he watched everyone else’s reaction veer more toward the “thank goodness” range of the emotional spectrum. But just getting out of bed in the morning, getting dressed and making it through the days was enough to take up his time at first and he couldn’t be sorry for his loss – not when he’d allowed the unthinkable to happen.

He had failed his teammates, himself and, most of all, Ronon. Losing his command was nothing when compared to the loss of life that had been his direct responsibility. The fact that it had been Teyla who had finally killed the Queen as she drained the life from Ronon again didn’t matter. He and he alone had put his friend in danger. It was his fault that there was no Wraith to put that life back again just as if he’d pulled the trigger and killed the Queen himself.

At least laying Ronon to rest had helped. The funeral pyre had been constructed on the mainland, flames shooting up higher than the trees and lighting up the night sky. They’d also highlighted the tears on his face but with Lorne at his back, his arms wrapped around his waist and Teyla and Rodney bracketing him on either side, he’d seen Ronon off, giving the Satedan the dignity he so deserved.

Healing after seemed a little easier, as if saying his goodbyes had somehow jump started the process. He still missed his friend and thought of him often. Sometimes he’d think of him at the most inopportune times – such as when he was sparring with Teyla. He’d usually get his ass kicked then, forcibly dragging his thoughts back to the present and the situation at hand.

Those times were getting farther and farther apart and John thought that just maybe he was beginning to understand why Ronon had died – and what he’d died for. Coming to grips with the decision they had made – because they had both made the decision that had caused Ronon’s loss of life – had been a long arduous process but now that he could step back and look at their actions objectively he knew they had made the right choice. Either way, it was a choice he would have to learn to live with.

~*~*~

When Teyla had suggested they get away for a while the look of unbridled hope on both Evan’s and Rodney’s faces made John realize just how they had been invested in his recovery and he’d said yes, letting them take point on where they would go and how they would get there. He had only one request.

His lovers had easily acquiesced to his request and so he found himself piloting a puddlejumper for the first time since the incident. When they were out over the vast ocean John handed the controls over to Rodney and opened the hatch. Leaning out over the water he opened the small box he held in his hands. It contained ashes from Ronon’s funeral pyre and as John upended the box he said a quick prayer for his friend, watching the ashes drift down to scatter on the waves.

After that they headed for space. John had some C4 with a certain Wraith Hive’s name etched on it. Cleansing is what the shrink had said when he’d told her what he had planned for his ‘holiday” and he supposed she was right. Cleansing by fire.

Going back to the planet where he and Ronon had infiltrated the downed Hive ship was the most difficult thing he’d faced up to this point – harder even than lighting the funeral pyre had been, for this was where his nightmares had begun. And, if flying over the ship had been difficult, boarding it had been excruciating. But he’d done it, knowing Teyla, Evan and Rodney had his back as he placed the C4 strategically around the ship before retreating to a safe distance.

The hills weren’t easy to traverse but he wanted a good view so they flew the puddlejumper away from the Hive ship and then hiked to an advantageous position. When John pushed the button on the remote device he felt something shift inside and it wasn’t until he felt three sets of arms encircle him that he realized he was crying.

~*~*~

Leaving that accursed planet couldn’t come fast enough to John, even though they only had to hike back to the jumper and then they were airborne. This time Rodney piloted and John allowed Evan and Teyla to hold him as he shook through the aftershocks.

They didn’t go back to Atlantis then. Even if John had completely forgotten about their planned vacation, his lovers hadn’t and they ended up camping on a world they had visited once before – and had a good relationship with. After accepting the Chief’s condolences on the loss of their friend they pitched camp a few kilometers outside the village. John wished he could have skipped the condolences part but knew that the Chief would have been deeply offended if they hadn’t greeted them properly upon their arrival. As it stood now, they would be left relatively in peace and peace was just what John needed.

The only outward sign of him thinking of his lost friend was his wearing one of Ronon’s leather wrist straps. He still wore his own black band on his right hand, but his left was always adorned with one of Ronon’s own. It made him feel closer to the Satedan somehow and he found himself remembering Ronon with more fondness than pain. It had only taken six months for that to happen and John couldn’t help but feel guilty that he could forget the pain so easy. When he’d said something along those lines to Teyla she had kicked his ass in their next sparring session and he’d known she was right. It was time to move on.

~*~*~

Evan checked in with Atlantis daily. Technically they were all still on active duty, except for John of course, and could be recalled at a moment’s notice. Luckily for them, Woolsey was of the opinion that they all needed this vacation as much as John obviously did and he scheduled team rotations around their absence.

Days passed and they all relaxed into their impromptu vacation. One afternoon, when John was lying in the sun with his head on Evan’s lap, he opened one eye, shading his face with a hand as he peered up at his lover.

“Who wants to go shopping with me?”

Evan had been reading; one hand holding his book, the other playing with John’s hair. He grunted noncommittally and John rolled his head to stare up, finding his line of sight blocked by the book. With a put-upon sigh, he turned to look at Teyla and Rodney. Teyla was napping in the sun and Rodney was typing away on his laptop, sitting just inside the shade of the tent.

“Rodney?” John said softly.

Rodney looked up, blinking into the sunshine. “What?”

John smirked. “Shopping?”

Rodney snorted. “In this sun? I think I’ll pass. I’d fry!” As he turned away, looking down at his computer again, John groaned softly.

John saw Rodney’s fingers hesitate on the keys and knew he had him. “Please, Rodney?” he said, rolling up onto his side and pushing a hand through his unruly hair. “Come shopping with me?”

“But – I –”

“Am on vacation,” John finished with a smile, rolling up to his hands and knees and crawling the short distance to where Rodney was sitting. This time it was Rodney’s turn to groan and John flashed him a bright smile. “The market is open and I’m getting bored.”

“Bored?” Rodney managed – glancing down at his keyboard again before looking up at John again.

John nodded and smothered a chuckle as Rodney closed his laptop and got to his feet, brushing the dust off his pants. “Well, let’s go then,” he groused.

John grinned and pulled the scientist in for a lingering kiss. “Thanks, Rodney.” He smiled at the dazed look he got, ruffled Rodney’s hair, and then pulled him out into the sunshine.

~*~*~

Rodney was grousing by the time they returned and John had to smile at the complaints. Three kilometers – and he’d asked Rodney to run with him – to and from the market. It wasn’t like Rodney couldn’t traverse that distance. It was just that Rodney seemed to like the sound of his own voice and complaining was so in character that it might have been sacrilegious if he hadn’t bitched about it.

The dim interior of the tent took his sight away momentarily as he ducked inside and he struggled as he was pulled into a tight embrace, not able to immediately see his attacker. His heart pounded in his chest as a soft whisper sounded in his ear.

“Shh, it’s just me.”

John sagged, the adrenalin rush leaving him suddenly drained as he realized he was safe. “Evan,” he managed, his voice sounding ragged to his own ears.

Evan kissed John’s shoulder and then the side of his fade, lapping at his ear lobe before biting down gently but hard enough to make John’s legs weak.

“Please,” he managed, blushing when he heard how breathless his voice sounded.

“Anything for you,” was his answer, delivered in a low growl, the air against his neck from the expulsion of the words sending shivers up his spine.

And then he felt hands. As his eyes adjusted to the dimness of the tent, he could make out Teyla and Rodney, both mostly naked. Their hands helped divest him of his own clothing as Evan’s strength kept him from folding to the floor. Hands smoothed over his skin, followed closely by lips and tongues and maybe just the barest hint of teeth just where he needed.

If anyone had suggested to John even a year ago that he would be involved in a stable foursome he would have laughed at them – because just how did that work anyway? He was more used to one-on-one and short term, avoiding involved relationships because they were simply too much work. But now? These three people had literally saved his life and he was in love with them equally. Even if he never went back into the field, he had enough.

“You’re thinking too hard,” Even murmured just before he bit down on John’s ear, making him moan wantonly.

Teyla’s hand was busy jacking him, Rodney pressed up tight behind her, his hands running over her chest, pinching and kneading her breasts. Teyla bared her neck, leaning her head back to rest against Rodney’s shoulder.

Rodney smiled as John licked his lips. “Go ahead,” he said softly.

John moaned again as Evan tweaked his nipples. Teyla’s hand was driving him closer and closer to the edge and then she leaned forward that last little bit and kissed him, her lips soft against his. John sighed against those lips, opening to her tongue as she pressed tighter to him. Teyla’s hands replaced Evan’s on John’s skin as Rodney reached around Teyla and took hold of John’s cock.

He groaned, a low desperate sound that seemingly ripped its way free of his throat. “God,” he gasped, “somebody fuck me already.”

Evan chuckled. “So pushy,” he chided even as his hands joined Teyla’s in their exploration of John’s body.

Hands, teeth, fingers, tongues, cocks, lips; penetrated and penetrating. A maddening itch of trickling sweat was soothed by a warm tongue. And then John was coming, gasping against a strong shoulder and it took him a moment to realize just who he was leaning against and where his other lovers were in relation. If he’d thought a foursome would be awkward, it was only because he’d lacked in imagination. His lovers made it all smooth, natural, sensual, and loving. It was seamless and effortless and beautiful. It healed the broken pieces of him as fingers lovingly wrapped around the leather of his wrist band.

~*~*~

They arrived back on Atlantis on a Tuesday afternoon, three months after they had left. Their welcome home was subdued and John knew his lovers had had something to do with that. He’d have to thank them later.

As new as all this was to John, his lovers had been on duty periodically and their homecoming seemed less poignant to his jaded gaze. His footsteps echoing in the great hall beat against his breastbone and he found himself aching for his friend anew. As his steps stumbled, his felt hands at his elbows and a presence at his back and knew without a shadow of a doubt that his lovers – his family – were there to support him. After a whispered word of thanks, he shrugged them off, lifted his head, and entered Atlantis once again.

He was back. He was healed. He was surrounded by family.

He was home.

And, finally, he could say without a shadow of a doubt: he was happy.

~*~*~

END


End file.
